I've been slowly building up my Starbucks order and I think it's reached a certain level of yuppie-cachet. I started with Venti Mocha. But, unfathomably, a Venti only has two shots of espresso. There are two in a Grande! So it's just a large watered down double shot. Lame. Ok, so I added and extra shot of espresso and made it a Triple Venti Mocha. That's more like it.
But wait, isn't the sweetness a little excessive? I accept that a Starbucks coffee, both in calories and in price, needs to substitute for a meal. But should it substitute for a meal AND a dessert? My sister orders a three-pump (as opposed to the standard five-pump). I tried that... but it seems like we were getting a little carried away with the reasonableness of that. Let's instead go for a Triple Venti Four-Pump Mocha. Mmmm, yummy.
But wait, why have a Mocha when you can have a Peppermint Mocha! And why have a Peppermint Mocha when you can have a Peppermint Mocha Twist with peppermint flavor in the whipped cream too! So make it a Triple Venti Four-Pump Peppermint Mocha Twist!
But wait, have you noticed that lately the coffee is lukewarm before you can drink the first third? I think they somehow reduced how hot they make it to start with... Aha! You can ask for it to be extra-hot! It is with great excitement that I'm settling on the Triple Venti Four-Pump Peppermint Mocha Twist Extra Hot!
At least for now.
p.s. The time I sent my husband inside to make this order (my boots were KILLING my feet!), I just couldn't bear to part with anything but the "Four-Pump". He walked up to the counter and said, "Um, my wife sent me in to order and I have a string of words that I don't know what they mean. Can you help me?" But hey, the coffee turned out perfect!