How sweet, take a picture

One afternoon last week Zack woke up from his nap cranky and disoriented (which happens a lot) and we ended up just sitting on the couch watching Olympics and snuggling (usually it's much less cordial and someone ends up in tears). He's getting so big that extended cuddling has become all too rare. It was a really sweet time and I told James all about it.

So, when he noticed a similar scene playing out in the late evening another day, he very considerately grabbed the camera, knowing I would love to have a picture.

See what Zack thought of that?

What a little turkey, wrecking my "sweet moment" picture!

Kale Fail

You didn't want to hear about good dinner ideas, did you? No, no, you're tired of posts with tasty recipes, or at least edible recipes. You want to hear about failures!

I tried to make some sauteed kale to go with our dinner. I used a recipe that I usually use for swiss chard (it's a good recipe, I promise), but I guess I wasn't paying attention because I put the kale stems in, then realized they were never going to get tender and picked them them all out... but by that time the entire pan-full was bitter and terrible. It was so bad I let Zack spit his out. James ate his small portion (I'm not sure why) and then we threw it out. Bummer!

The Plot

Yesterday was such a Monday's Monday.

I'd love to tell you about our lovely weekend but I'm kinda past it now. Suffice it to say that there was some very nice times with my sweet boys.

Today, something else entirely is on my mind and unfortunately for you, I am going to tell you what it is: one baby cannot possibly produce this much poo.

We must somehow have someone else's allotment. Someone, somewhere, has invented a method to re-route the contents of their baby's dirty diapers into my baby's diaper (or rather, OUT of my baby's diaper). That person will soon be a zillionaire while I and all the other victims are up to our elbows in mess and wipes, attempting to disinfect while more is busily arriving from the culprits' diapers. It's diabolical, I tell you.

And disgusting.

It has to be a plot, I'm sure of it. It has nothing to do with the vast quantities my child consumes and everything to do with the conspiracy against me, which today included a nursery helper putting a size too small diaper on the boy. I didn't know it, but while I was making an emergency stop at the store to stock up on size 4, he was wearing a size 2.

I've already dealt with the clothes and furniture, but I'd better go work on the carpet. Enjoy your giant piles of money, evil diaper-rerouter-inventor.

(Yes, that's a rib he's chewing on.)

Twattler

Mom, Sammy is in trouble!
Mom, Sammy is in the cabinet!
Mom, Sammy is ok now!
Mom, Sammy has your magazine!
Mom, Sammy has one of my GeoTrax people!
Mom, MOM, Sammy has a choking hazard!!
MOM, SAMMY TROUBLE!
Mom, Sammy is ok now!
Mom, Sammy is standing up on the TV cabinet!
Mom, Sammy is trying to reach the TV!
Mom, Sammy is ok now!

I finally see. These are not tattles. They are status updates.

(and scroll down to leave a comment for the handmade cards giveaway, c'mon, do it!)

The Zoo, blah blah blah

It feels like a day for sarcasm. But I'm uninspired. Sorry. I know people enjoy some sarcasm. I certainly do. But, everything I've got is more snarky than sarcastic. So, I'll just post about our birthday visit to the zoo. (These blooming branches are just prettiness from the zoo entrance to offset all the snarky thoughts I'm thinking.)

James took off work for Sammy's birthday and we went to the Austin zoo. I wasn't really enthused about this plan (after all, I wasn't exactly consulted when it was made). I had a really tight schedule for the week and this took a chunk of time I was planning on using to ignore the children and make myself crazy trying to get something done while they "played" (there, a teensy bit of sarcasm).

The trip turned out to be much more pleasant than that plan (and YES, it did put me behind).

The Austin Zoo is a rescue zoo. It isn't a big pretty zoo, but it's fun.

The Birthday Sammy rode with Daddy while Zack ran free. And climbed. There was a petting zoo with a feeding area and a separate petting area. Zack was too nervous to let the eager goats lick the food out of his hand, but he did tip the pieces onto the rail where they could reach them (my, goats, what long tongues you have!).

If you are thinking of going, I recommend it for a partial day activity. It was a really fun family time, very wholesome, educational, outdoorsy, animal-y, Austin-y and blah blah blah.

Word Count

I've been slowly building up my Starbucks order and I think it's reached a certain level of yuppie-cachet. I started with Venti Mocha. But, unfathomably, a Venti only has two shots of espresso. There are two in a Grande! So it's just a large watered down double shot. Lame. Ok, so I added and extra shot of espresso and made it a Triple Venti Mocha. That's more like it.

But wait, isn't the sweetness a little excessive? I accept that a Starbucks coffee, both in calories and in price, needs to substitute for a meal. But should it substitute for a meal AND a dessert? My sister orders a three-pump (as opposed to the standard five-pump). I tried that... but it seems like we were getting a little carried away with the reasonableness of that. Let's instead go for a Triple Venti Four-Pump Mocha. Mmmm, yummy.

But wait, why have a Mocha when you can have a Peppermint Mocha! And why have a Peppermint Mocha when you can have a Peppermint Mocha Twist with peppermint flavor in the whipped cream too! So make it a Triple Venti Four-Pump Peppermint Mocha Twist!

But wait, have you noticed that lately the coffee is lukewarm before you can drink the first third? I think they somehow reduced how hot they make it to start with... Aha! You can ask for it to be extra-hot! It is with great excitement that I'm settling on the Triple Venti Four-Pump Peppermint Mocha Twist Extra Hot!

At least for now.

p.s. The time I sent my husband inside to make this order (my boots were KILLING my feet!), I just couldn't bear to part with anything but the "Four-Pump". He walked up to the counter and said, "Um, my wife sent me in to order and I have a string of words that I don't know what they mean. Can you help me?" But hey, the coffee turned out perfect!

She's let herself go.

First, before I'm permanently labeled as a shlumpadinka, I'll say in my defense that I'm sick, Sammy is teething and slightly feverish and it's chilly and rainy out. Also, it's our stay-at-home-day, which we try to do every Monday to balance out our weekends that tend to have too much running around.

Today, I put on a sweatsuit. I changed out of my jammies into a pink jogging-type outfit with a black t-shirt. It isn't something with sweatband ankle cuffs and a freebie logo on the chest. It isn't torn or grease-stained. The pants are boot cut, the sweatshirt is a zip-up hoodie, and the black t-shirt is a feminine cut with detailing around the v-neck. I'm just saying that though it isn't something I'd wear to a party, it isn't that bad.

This was the response from my four year old:

Zack: Are you wearing that today?

Me: Yes.

Zack: As your clothes?

Me: Yep.

Zack: Mommy. I don't think you can really wear that.

Me: Why not?

Zack, head shaking, chin pulled back, face scrunched in distaste, sputtering: It's... too... pink! and jammie-y!

Me: Well, it isn't jammies, I changed out of my jammies. And it is our stay at home day.

Zack: And are you still wearing it when Daddy comes home?

Me: Yes! It's fine!

Me, calling out after him as he shakes his head and leaves the room: And I'm sick!

Sheesh. He's strict.

Keep Those Kiddos Busy

Here's a tip I learned on today's shopping trip! Keep the kids occupied in various stores and checkout lanes with a little game - count the Obama photos! They'll learn to count into higher and higher numbers with every turn of the shopping cart!

Ok, I'm not really being snotty. Wait, yes I am, but it's directed at the ubiquity and uniformity of media rather than at a particular political figure(s).

And it did work.

I try to keep my posts in the interesting and/or helpful realm. Does this little bit fall under interesting or just gross and whiny? This morning I coughed so hard I choked and threw up. FOUR TIMES. Stupid cedar pollen. Harrumph. Once I get over being so miserable, maybe I'll come back and delete this.

p.s. I read this just after writing this post. There. This post is officially interesting.

Here's a tip for childproofing the christmas tree

Or, try hanging it from the ceiling. That's also convenient.

In case you are a family member and prone to concern, skip over the photo group of getting the tree up there. Really, it wasn't too bad. No Deannas were harmed in the making of this Christmas tree. And, as far as the ornaments go, I only dropped one little guy, and he didn't even break. Even with the scary big step off the ladder, it was better than last year when I was pregnant and James had to do this part, using my instructions and a laser pointer for where each ornament should go. Am I kidding about the laser pointer? Actually, no.